Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
