Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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