beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
