brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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