He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
