It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize