Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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