dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
