My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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