Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
