This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
