I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So much rum. So many feels.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
