So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
