i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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