I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
