help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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