You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You pole danced in your parka.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
