wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize