Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
