My nipple is on Facebook.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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