Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
