is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.