Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.

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(612): im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season. http://tfl.nu/2d9g

Replies (3) Good night (3523) Bad night (643)
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(303): View more from Colorado

It smells like weed.

(720): View more from Colorado

We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.

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(303): It smells like weed. (720): We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed. http://tfl.nu/w4bb

Replies (41) Good night (3870) Bad night (542)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.

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(479): I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head. http://tfl.nu/p8jq

Replies (20) Good night (1349) Bad night (4311)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent

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(608): I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent http://tfl.nu/fgks

Replies (24) Good night (4065) Bad night (820)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.

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(570): Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave. http://tfl.nu/d944

Replies (23) Good night (5446) Bad night (1105)
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(703): View more from Virginia

does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.

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(703): does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/2knl

Replies (11) Good night (3614) Bad night (934)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street

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(724): the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street http://tfl.nu/sbee

Replies (13) Good night (4484) Bad night (1438)
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(516): View more from New York

Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on

(917): View more from New York City

Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.

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(516): Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on (917): Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something. http://tfl.nu/buau

Replies (3) Good night (2469) Bad night (859)
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(719): View more from Colorado

She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.

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(719): She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance. http://tfl.nu/lni2

Replies (2) Good night (1414) Bad night (580)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.

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(540): I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night. http://tfl.nu/isgy

Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (812)
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(818): View more from California

He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing

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(818): He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing http://tfl.nu/62aj

Replies (5) Good night (1173) Bad night (404)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life

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(608): Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life http://tfl.nu/ljpd

Replies (15) Good night (605) Bad night (1057)
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(281): View more from Texas

Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.

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(281): Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy. http://tfl.nu/smj8

Replies (2) Good night (331) Bad night (605)
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(805): View more from California

Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!

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(805): Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?! http://tfl.nu/o9wh

Replies (4) Good night (577) Bad night (265)
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(618): View more from Illinois

One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.

(1-618): View more from Illinois

Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!

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(618): One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat. (1-618): Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research! http://tfl.nu/3g8w

Replies (6) Good night (1445) Bad night (190)

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