What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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