Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I cockslap morals

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(907): View more from Alaska

scale of 1-10 how well do I give head

(1-907): View more from Alaska

5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.

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(845): View more from New York

If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.

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(317): View more from Indiana

question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots

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(817): View more from Texas

You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now

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(865): View more from Tennessee

My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?

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