woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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