I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i dont even know how to be here
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get