Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him

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(314): View more from Missouri

My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.

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(647): View more from Ontario

The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.

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(219): View more from Indiana

He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude

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(804): View more from Virginia

I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?

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