She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
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I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires