Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.

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(954): View more from Florida

I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits

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(352): View more from Florida

this beer tastes like vomit already

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(501): View more from Arkansas

All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.

(1-312): View more from Illinois

None of that is ok.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card

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