I love black thongs
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
