they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
