Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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