I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
