So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
