Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
