The maid of honor just puked.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
