I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
