We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Let's get the cat blown out
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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