And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
