Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
