Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
