with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
