like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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