i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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