I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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