So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize