would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
