Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
