let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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