youre lurking in front of me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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