I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
