Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
