I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
