Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
