I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
