I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
