He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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