It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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