If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
two words...techno handjob
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
