He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
