Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
