Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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