look no pants
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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