I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
