Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
