You work out of a Hotel?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
