According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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