Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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