the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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